Encouragement For the Day: Exodus 14:14

One of my favorite verses in all of scripture is Exodus 14:14:

"The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still." 

This verse is followed in scripture by the story of God parting the Red Sea for Moses and the Israelites as they outrun Pharaoh and his Egyptian army.

If you know the end of the story, then you know that God did fight for the Israelites. Pharaoh's army was swallowed by the very sea that was parted as safe passage for the Israelites to escape.

I know there Egyptians in your life right now. They're pursuing you. They're charging at you. They're trying to engage in a battle that you know you will lose if you fight on your own.

Take heart, God is your greatest ally. He will fight for you.

You need only to be still. To be motionless. To be stationary. To remain calm.

When the battle is over, you will clearly see that God is faithful and good. His word can be counted on. Rescue is coming.

Be still,
Jessica

The Good Wife Chronicles: Be His Loudest Cheerleader

The world will stop at nothing to tear down my husband. People willingly and openly oppose him. They try to damage his career, his character and his confidence. And I'm sure they do the same to your husband, too.

I suppose this comes with the territory of being a Christian. As my pastor says, "If you're not being met with opposition, it's time to re-evaluate your walk with Christ."

My husband was most recently dealing with a co-worker who spent their free time trying to control him. This person did a number of horrible things and he would come home frustrated and confused. I would be heartbroken.

I wanted to march up to his office and give this person what for. I wanted to tell them that if they continued to treat my husband in this manner, they'd be dealing with me (on a side note: I am much more intimidating than my husband). But I knew that wouldn't accomplish much. This person would not stop bullying simply because I told them to.

So, I prayed everyday as my husband left for work. "Lord, please give him patience. Help him to hold his tongue. Help him to return attacks with kindness. Arm him with your strength."

Eventually, the problem was solved. But the point is this: the world will try to tear down your husband and it's important that you don't.

The world will tell your husband that his talents aren't good enough. They will tell him that he won't measure up to much. They will tell him that they can't believe he lives off of so little income and that he should find a better job. They will tell him that his car is too old. They will tell him that his clothes are not nice enough. They will tell him that his choices are wrong. They will attack his faith.

I don't think I realized how cruel the world was to my husband until recently. My husband is a strong man. He really can carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and never let on that he's struggling beneath its weight. But when the load gets too heavy to carry, he knows I'm the person he can turn to lift those burdens. Or at least lift his spirits.

I'm not always his loudest cheerleader, but God is helping me understand how important it is that I become his.

There was a recent study done that showed your husband will hear your voice most audibly when surrounded by other voices. Your husband is most familiar with your voice. This can be a good thing--because he can shut out the world and focus solely on you--or it can be a bad thing--he can ignore your words and, eventually, you completely.

It's my belief that if we are cheering on our husbands, they will shut out the noises from others and focus on our encouragement. If we aren't encouraging, he most likely won't be listening to us. He may get beaten down by the rest of the world's opinions of him. Or he may find someone else to be his cheerleader.

So, how do we become our husband's loudest cheerleader?

1. Applaud his efforts; encourage his dreams no matter how crazy they sound
I doubt my husband from time-to-time. When he came home and told me he was going to build a hydroponic system to grow non-GMO foods for us using fish, I about had a heart attack. My first thought was, "Great, here we go again. Another experiment." My next thought? "How much is this going to cost?" But instead of saying these things out loud, I nodded in agreement and said to him, "Can you put together a budget so I can start saving some extra money to fund your hydroponic system?" He did it and we saved. Now, next to the desk I am currently typing at, I'm watching lettuce grow out of lava rocks. It truly is a miracle.

Every day I make a big deal about how much his plants have grown. I encourage him to start growing other types of plants and help him set aside money to expand. If he had failed, it wouldn't have been a big deal. He would have re-purposed most of the supplies for future ventures. But now he's talking about one day making a living off of his hydroponic system. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Whatever the case, the man planted seeds in lava rocks that germinated in three days. THREE DAYS. I think it's safe to say God used my doubt to teach me a lesson: applaud your husband's efforts. He needs your encouragement. He needs your help. Even when you're sure he will fail. God just might make something miraculous happen.

2. Apologize--even when its not your fault
A long time ago, I learned a valuable lesson. The words "I'm sorry" can and will melt your husband's heart if you are sincere about it. My husband hurt my feelings unknowingly one day and I moped around for two hours. He kept staring at me confused. I was convinced that if I just kept moping, he would eventually figure it out. Long story short: he never did. When dinner time was approaching, I realized I was really tired of moping. I'm not a very patient person. So, I went to him and said, "I'm sorry I've been moping around all afternoon. You hurt my feelings and I was waiting for you to figure it out." He laughed and said, "I can't read your mind." Then he apologized and kissed me.

Here's what's important to remember: there should never be anything between you and your husband. If he hurt your feelings, tell him. Give him a chance to apologize. If he doesn't, pray about it. Don't hold it against him or nag him. If you hurt his feelings, apologize the moment you find out. A marriage can't be successful if it's not full of forgiveness.

3. Affirm his positive attributes
My husband would never admit this, but he walks a little taller when I'm bragging on him.

"You're so talented!"

"You are the smartest man I know!"

"You are a success!"

"You always look so handsome!"

"You are so strong! Did your muscles get bigger?!"

"You're the best husband a girl could ask for!"

"I'm so happy you picked me to be your wife!"

Ladies, I'm giving you great ammo here. Use it! Go ahead, give your husband a big head. Let him know you think he hung the stars in the sky. Pump him so full of confidence that the world can't deflate him.

His home really is his castle. Providing for his family is very stressful whether he likes his job or not. When he comes home, show him how much he's loved and cared for. Give him a kiss, tell him you missed him, and then lead him to the table where his dinner is waiting. Treat him like a king. There are so many young ladies who would give anything to be a wife--even to a man who may not always treat her well or appreciate her. Be grateful you have a husband who comes home to you every night regardless of his mood. A respected, well-cared for man who knows he has the loving support of his wife is a man who will be very happy to come home.

Be his loudest cheerleader. Encourage him. Build him up. Let him know that you have his back no matter what the world thinks of him.

Your Wife-Friend in Christ
--Jessica

Did you like this post?

To read more of my series, The Good Wife Chronicles, check out past posts below!

Dealing With the Proverbs 31 Woman
The Soul Mate Complex

Michal's Mistakes

Love With Intention

My Secrets To A Happier Marriage

Have You Thanked God Today?

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 136:1

I always look forward to the first month of winter. There's the anticipation of snow and curling up on the couch with a cup of tea and a good book.

But by mid-January this year, I was completely over winter. And when the forecast predicted more wintry weather, I almost cried.

A few days ago, I woke up knowing that my world would be covered in white again. Instead of focusing on the cold, miserable weather, I called for the puppy sleeping at my feet. She crawled--tired--to my side and snuggled up. I gently stroked her back as she made a nest in my arms.

That's when I realized that there is so much to be thankful for. Even on those days when the sky is gray and the frozen ground is slippery. God is good in every season.

The winter weather is a reminder that seasons will change according to God's will--not our own. And for that, I am truly grateful. I'm grateful that my life is on his schedule--not my own.

Your world may be covered in a blanket of white and the winter may appear to drag on and on, but it will eventually come to an end. Spring will pop up underneath the dead ground.

Have you thanked God today? For his timing? For his care? For his desire to see you grow and change as the seasons do?

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

--Jessica

Young Girls, Please Guard Your Hearts

I remember 13 quite vividly. I loved listening to Martina McBride CD's in the big, black stereo my mom got me for Christmas and riding my bike. I played soccer and collected my favorite quotes in a little purple journal that I still carry with me today.

To put it mildly, I was a child on the brink of becoming a young woman. And my activities reflected that.

Sure, I'd weathered my parents divorce. I was learning how to live out of a suitcase and get used to another family being around. 

But here's the thing: the topic of boys was THE last thing on my mind. 

I'm sure it had something to do with my mom forbidding me to date until I was 18 (a great rule my own children will have). Or maybe the fact that I was very cynical about love at 13. I mean, I had just watched a marriage crumble. Boys--though cute and entertaining--were not my main focus. And they shouldn't be yours, either.

I spend a lot of time around you, young girls. Most of you are clueless about the opposite sex much like I was at you age. But I come across a few who are boy crazy. 

And it drives me insane.

You date way too young. 

You give your hearts and virtue away without a second glance. 

You go from boy to boy as if you're trying on clothing. 

I try to reason with you. 

"You're young. You can't legally get married for another five years. Stop worrying about boys. Focus on God. Enjoy this time. The future will be here soon enough. Pray for your future husband, don't try tracking him down now. Like I said earlier, you can't legally get married for another five years..."

You usually roll you eyes at me and I can't help but wonder if I'm just blowing smoke. I get frustrated with myself because I can't reach you--I can't get through to you. And I want to so badly.

There's a big world out there, girls, and it's just waiting for you. It's waiting for you to come at it without the heartbreak of failed relationships. Without the emotional scars of giving yourself away before you should have. Without the life experience you were too young to really understand and work through.

You lose yourself. 

You lose sight of what you can truly accomplish. 

And this breaks my heart.

I remember I was reading a book in my teen years about preparing to be a wife. One of the opening lines was: "Do you want a husband? Or do you want to be a wife?"

The questions puzzled me. Of course I wanted a husband. I wanted to find the man who would love me more than anyone else in my life ever had. But the idea of being a wife...well, that didn't sit well with me.

I wasn't ready.

12 years later, I am a wife. And my Wife Journey has been an adventure. But I wasn't ready for it at 13. I wasn't ready for it at 17. And I wasn't ready for it at 20. When I was finally ready, at 22, God worked everything together for my good. And He will for you, too.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

Young girls, please guard your hearts. Protect your heart as if you are protecting a precious gem--because that's exactly what it is.

Don't be in such a rush to grow up. I know patience is not your forte--it wasn't mine at your age either--but the time will come. And when it does, you'll be grateful you guarded your heart for the man who will stand before you, gently place a band on your left hand and promise before God, your family, and your friends to love you until your last breath.

--Jessica

A Proverb A Day

"Have you ever noticed that there are 31 Proverbs in the Bible? And that there are around 31 days in each month?"

My pastor asked a good question. 

Had I ever noticed? 

The answer was "No". 

I remember writing this question down in my notebook and scribbling beside it in capital letters, "THIS IS GOOD STUFF!"

Because it is good stuff. 

I love when other Christians share with me the information God has revealed to them about the Bible. I believe it helps make me a better Christian.

Now, I make every effort to read a proverb a day. Because surely it wasn't an accident that there are around 31 days in each month and 31 Proverbs in the Bible.

Today's Proverb? Proverbs 7

"My son, keep my words and store up commands within you. Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart." -Proverbs 7:1-3

--Jessica

The Good Wife Chronicles: Dealing With the Proverbs 31 Woman

When I started this series, "The Good Wife Chronicles," my hope was that I would help myself--and others--become the good wife Proverbs 31 talks about. A woman of "noble character" who brings her husband "good, not harm, all the days of her life." 

If you're a wife, I'm sure you've read this passage many times and marveled at the woman described. And then slowly beaten yourself up about how much you so do not resemble the woman the Bible talks about. 

I used to feel that way, then I did Laurie Cole's Beauty By the Book Bible study and learned a thing or two about this passage in scripture.

The first is that this woman is impossible to measure up to because she is not all of these things at one time. Maybe you go through seasons where you do get up "while it is still night" to get your husband out the door for work. Other times, you may need to sleep in because your wife role calls you to be up late at night. I used to pride myself on getting up early to take care of my husband. But then quickly realized that my wife role made it hard to stay up late and get up incredibly early the next day. I was moody, unhappy, and sleep deprived. 

Our solution: I sleep in on the days I need to (which is probably two days out of the month) and my husband gets himself ready for work. If his lunch isn't made, I take it up to him after I get up.

The takeaway: Don't beat yourself up; this woman can do many things, but she also recognizes her limitations and works with her husband to set aside time to rejuvenate herself.

The second thing I learned is that this woman looks nothing like the world. I have a difficult time watching any type of reality TV that involve husbands and wives (unless it's 19 Kids and Counting!). Mainly because I cannot stand how worldly wives treat their husbands. I'm always shocked at how these women boss around their husbands and act as though their men should just be happy they come home at night. 

Recently, I was looking through wife articles online and found one devoted entirely to the Real Housewives franchise divorces. THEIR DIVORCES. It saddened me greatly because these women are missing what their true calling in life is: to be a helpmeet to their husbands. It grieves my heart that our society attacks the submissive housewife and instead holds up these women who value popularity, careers and money over their marriages. 

Society assumes the submissive wife is weak and frail. They assume she is controlled by her husband and cannot stand on her own two feet. They could not be more wrong. The Proverbs 31 woman described is strong and independent. She is a hard worker. She uses her talents to provide for her family. Perhaps she earns money working from home or cuts coupons to save money. She serves others selflessly and is prepared for all seasons of life. She is also wise and focused on her home. This woman is not concerned with the world; she's concerned about her family. 

The takeaway: The Proverbs 31 woman is the type of woman we should try to emulate. She is a blessing to her husband and knows that being married to him fulfills her God-given role in this life. She considers herself lucky and happily busies herself with her wifely duties.

The Proverbs 31 woman can be intimidating, but she stands for a beautiful truth: wives are the backbone to the family unit. If you are a wife, don't wear yourself out trying to be everything at once. Change priorities as seasons change. 

Your Wife-Friend in Christ,

Jessica

Did you like this post?

To read more of my series, The Good Wife Chronicles, check out past posts below!

The Soul Mate Complex

Michal's Mistakes

Love With Intention

My Secrets To A Happier Marriage

Contentment, My Theme For This Year

Each year, I choose a theme for my life.

What I hope to accomplish personally over the year.

What I hope to learn spiritually.

How I hope to grow.

Instead of New Year resolutions, I pick a yearly theme.

Last year's theme was joy. And God taught me a great deal about having a cheerful heart. I really loved growing in this area. I decided to search myself and pray about finding what it is I need to focus on this year. What I hope to take away from the next 365 days here.

So, this year's theme is contentment. 

And the Bible verse to accompany 2014 is: "...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Philippians 4:11-12)

Generally, when I think about contentment, I think about being content with my material possessions or living situation. But I learned how to be content with the size of the roof over my head many years ago. We went from a beautiful five-bedroom house to a two-room studio. And God showed me that the size of the house didn't matter; it's who you shared it with that did.

The definition of contentment is: the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind.

So, no, my contentment for this year is not focused on worldly desires or material possessions. My goal of contentment this year is to find ease of mind during each season I encounter on my Christian walk.

I'm no stranger to the changing seasons. I've learned how to recognize them when I'm in them. But for a long time, my sole focus is to get through one season and move on to the next. What I want to accomplish this year is to find contentment in each season. I want to thrive; not just survive.

When God is blessing abundantly, I want to enjoy those blessings without worrying that tomorrow there could be a change in seasons. I want to stop worrying about tomorrow and be content with today.

When I am in a stressful season, I want to learn how to find contentment in God's strength knowing that He will provide the calm and quiet I desperately need.

When things begin to pick up, and life flourishes beneath the weight of a stressful season, I want to figure out how to gracefully approach those busy times without getting overwhelmed. I want to be content with being busy.

When I am in a dry season, and things have slowed, I want to take comfort in the simplicity of my days. I want to learn how to be content when there is no storm raging--when God does not have to rescue me from my hardships. I want to be content with the times He gives me to recover and recoup.

I want to learn how to put my mind at ease in all situations. That is my hope for 2014. That is my goal for this year.

Do you have a theme for 2014? If not, maybe now is a good time to ask God what you need to focus on this year to help you improve your Christian walk.

--Jessica