Joy

It's an easy word to say. 

The definition is easy to understand: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. 

So why do have such a hard time putting this simple word into action?

Choosing joy has been one of the numerous lessons I've been learning over the past year. Because it's not something that comes natural to me.

People disappoint me. People use me. People get under my skin. People knowingly wound me with their words. Knowing that they do it on purpose is even more disheartening. But I have found that "a cheerful heart is good medicine." (Proverbs 17:22)

When I choose joy over anger, hurt, and bitterness, I am doing my heart a good thing. I'm not harboring ill feelings or discord. I'm releasing those feelings and choosing to be happy, cheerful, and joyful. And the Bible says that this is literally "good medicine." 

If joy is good for my body, then I'm going to choose it over and over again regardless of my circumstances or problems with others.

How do I put joy into action? Here are my 3 simple steps:

1. Accept the things you cannot change.
Yes, this is part of the Serenity Prayer, but it's useful for two reasons. First off, the word serenity literally means a state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled. If you want joy, you first have to find peace. The best way to be tranquil is to let go of the things you can't change. Not everything is going to go your way. The best way to let go of those things is to surrender them to God's will. Let Him take care of those things; you don't have worry about them.

Secondly, the Serenity Prayer is helpful because it's good to memorize and recite over and over. "God, grant me the serenity (peace, calm, tranquility) to accept the things I cannot change (releasing them to God's will); courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." Go ahead, try it. When this becomes your motto, joy comes quickly and easily.

2.  Learn to be content.

I think the number one reason why so many people don't have joy is because they're not content. They want more and they aren't content with the blessings they already have. Listen, God's always going to take care of you. My life is a living testament to this Bible truth. "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19) You don't have to be in competition with the world to have more. If you can't be content with what you have right now, you're never going to be content with more. There are three necessities to life: shelter, food, and water. If you have all three, you are richer than you know.

One of the ways I have learned contentment is by thanking God every day--that's right, EVERY DAY--for things I have. My husband. A roof over my head. A reliable car. Family. Friends. A full stomach. Furniture. Dogs to keep me busy. My faith. 

The list goes on and on. But you get the idea. If you're busy thanking God for what you already have, you won't focus on what you don't have. And if there is something you need, just ask. God is not opposed to you asking Him for things. Be specific. He wants to bless you.

3. Don't have expectations; change your motives.

I used to be one of those people who would only do nice things for others because I wanted praise in return. The problem with this thinking is that it will only disappoint you because people are unpredictable. You exercise kindness, they may return it with an insult or injury. Hey, it even happened in the Bible times. Want proof? Read the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.

The point is this: Don't place high expectations on people. They're only human. They're not always joyful. They won't always treat you with mercy and grace. 

Here's a good example: A while ago, I was doing something kind for one of the difficult people in my life. I was second-guessing myself when the gravity of the situation came into focus. I said to my mom, "I suppose the best way to do good things for people is to not have any expectations." She furrowed her brow and said, "What do you mean?" 

What I meant was this: If I only do good things for others with the expectation that they will treat me well, be kind, and honorable, I'm setting myself up for disappointment. It's happened enough in the past for me to have learned my lesson. Instead, I give freely now with no strings attached. If I do something good to you, it's just me saying, "Hey, I care about you and I want to better your life. I'm invested in helping you." 

I'm not looking for anything in return. I care about people and I care about their well-being. That's it. That's my motive. 

If that's not your motive, here's a Bible verse to memorize and help you put things into perspective: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." (Philippians 2:3) This verse also happens to be our church theme for 2014. And I believe it's one that everyone should put into practice. If we value others, our lives take on a whole new meaning. Joy is found when we do things out of love--not with the expectation of reciprocation.

Choose joy. Choose the 'good medicine.' What do you have to lose?

--Jessica