How To Deal With Difficult People

There is never a shortage of difficult people in my life. And I know the same is probably true for you. They come in the form of co-workers, friends, family members, acquaintances and strangers.

They like to test us. To push our buttons. To expose the parts of us that are human. Oftentimes, they have the power to make us feel inadequate.

I struggle with difficult people. 

Some days, I can handle them with all the grace and compassion in the world. I can shrug of their behavior like it's nobody's business!

But other days, I lose my patience and I speak out of turn. I engage in the battle they've started. And I always find myself shaking my head in defeat.

Thankfully, God is always doing a work in me. And this week, he's been dealing with about difficult people.

Naturally, that means my days have been ripe with difficult people and difficult situations. This week, I managed with God's help to handle the difficult people in my life with more grace and less frustration.

Here are three principles God has been teaching me about how to deal with difficult people:

1. Prepare for them.
Difficult people are part of our every day lives. You can't avoid them. I always joke that the only way to avoid difficult people is to move to the top of mountain in a foreign land without a soul around for miles and miles.

But that isn't a realistic solution.

Instead, we have to figure out how to handle the people in our lives that push us to our breaking point.

I've been a Christian long enough now to know that every difficult person is really an opportunity in disguise.

The opportunity? To grow. To love without limitation. To teach. To encourage. To win someone over.

So, how exactly do I prepare for these difficult people? How do I remind myself that I have an opportunity to minister? By reciting scripture.

It's one of the easiest ways to set your mind on things above. If you're heart is focused on Heaven, then the world doesn't stand a chance of stealing your joy.

Recite these verses when you find yourself in the midst of a difficult situation with a difficult person:

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them." (Luke 6:32)

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another." (Romans 12:14-16)

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

2. Praise God for them. 
"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

I know this may sound like an impossible task, but when you're having trouble with a difficult person in your life, scriptures clearly states that you are to give thanks for the situation.

"Give thanks in all circumstances..." Every situation. There is no exception. The harder the situation, the louder your praise should be.

When you're busy thanking God, the burden of dealing with a difficult person lessens. Because you are acknowledging that God is in control of the situation. Peace and joy will find you in the midst of your grateful attitude.

Let God work through you. You may be the one who needs to learn a lesson. Or, perhaps, he's using you to teach someone else a lesson.

One of the prayers I like to recite over and over again when praising God is this: "Thank you, Lord, for choosing me for this situation."

I love when God chooses me to minister to others. And I love when God uses my inadequacies to teach me a lesson.

Whatever the situation, I'm just grateful he wants to use me--that he chooses me to do his work.

3. Pray for them.
I really struggle when it comes to praying for the difficult people in my life. God knows I do because he's always urging me to stop what I'm doing and send up a prayer for the person who's making my life miserable.

When we pray for the people filling our lives with turmoil, we are handing the situation over to God. And God will take care of his people. Scriptures says so.

One of my favorite verses is Exodus 14:14: "The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still."

I can't tell you how many times this verse comes to mind when I'm trying to figure out how to handle people gracefully.

It reminds me that we need to be still. We need to be silent. We need to let God be God. He's not going to disappoint us. He will fight for us.

"But I tell you, love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you, that you may children of your Father in Heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous." (Matthew 5:44-45)

Pray for the difficult people in your life. It not only gives God control of the situation, but it puts things into perspective.

Pray for them. Pray for strength to deal with them gracefully. Pray for the opportunity to minister.

The takeaway: Difficult people are a part of our every day lives. Like us, they will either spend eternity in a mansion in the sky or a fiery pit below. Are you more concerned about the difficult people in your life's final destination or how they've disrupted your day?