3 Years Later...

I entered my marriage with a lot of baggage. We're talking about suitcase after suitcase of trust issues, anger issues, a bitter heart, a broken heart, and the fear of constant rejection.

My poor husband...what on EARTH was he thinking marrying me?!

I'm not really sure, but I THANK GOD every day that he did.

I had no expectations for my husband when we said our vows. I'm being honest here. I was so far from this fairy tale idea of love that I didn't have expectations of a knight-in-shining-armor. I knew my husband was human and would probably make a few mistakes along the way. And I also knew that marriage was hard. So hard that most marriages around me had failed.

I didn't have the expectation that things wouldn't work out either because I knew that if my husband held my heart, it would always be safe. He is a fighter and the most stubborn soul I have ever met in my life, but so kind and pure. So I never worried about a failed marriage with him.

I just worried that I would never get over my past. I would never heal completely. And that I would waste the days ahead of me.

So, I entered my marriage with no idea how tomorrow would turn out.

But tomorrow kept coming and things kept going well. I slowly began to heal. And my walk with God strengthened; my heart forever changed.

Listen, three years of living with someone will bring on its problems. We had a rough patch. We were both going through changes and neither doing what God expected of each spouse in a marriage. But we worked it out and kept pushing forward. And when enough time passed, we sat down and we each took blame for our parts. I'm so thankful I married a man who admits his faults and knows the value of the words, "I'm sorry."

My husband is the most amazing man I know. He can be gentle with me, but a fierce warrior when he walks out our front door every morning to partake in the work God has given him to do. And it doesn't matter how horrible the people who need things from him treat him; he treats everyone the same and helps without hesitation. He will never put you down or speak ill of you behind your back. It's very rare that he even shares secrets others tell him with me. I prefer it that way; I want my husband to be someone his friends and family can trust to confide in without anyone else finding out. He's resourceful and can do anything he sets his mind to. And every Sunday morning, he drives me to church holding my hand.

My husband is far from perfect, but I thank God all time for leading me to Kelly. My life was O.K. before him, but now that our lives are meshed together, I can't imagine a single day without him.

So, what have three years of marriage taught me?

1. Just go with the flow. No matter how many times you tell him his dirty clothes go in the laundry basket (not 3 feet from it on the floor), he will still continue to throw them on the floor.

2. Expectations ruin relationships. I can expect my husband to take out the trash all I want, but that doesn't mean he'll do it. And on the rare occasions when he does, I make a really big deal about it because my heart is overjoyed.

3. Your marriage will NEVER be perfect. So don't fret. Anyone who tries to convince you their marriage is a fairy tale is flat-out lying. Every marriage experiences highs and lows. Remember that. Work through your problems. Don't look for an exit strategy when things aren't going the way you want them to.

4. Build a life together. My husband and I have built a life together. Our recipe is simple: find common goals and dreams and then work TOGETHER to accomplish them. Sure, we have separate dreams, too. But our main focus is on what we can accomplish working with one another.

5. Forgive quickly. This has saved my marriage over and over again. We don't hold onto the past in our marriage. We let it go. There's no use in rehashing the past when the present is so special. It truly is. Every day is a gift. If you haven't gotten there yet--you haven't realized this--it's time to open your eyes and learn the art of gratitude.