The Good Wife Chronicles: His Opinion of Your Beauty

I remember the night quite well. I was sitting around a table at Pizza Hut with several other people and my husband. Out of the blue, someone says very bluntly, "Jessi, since you've gotten married, you've really let yourself go."

I was stunned. The kind of stunned that left me speechless for the remainder of the night. I looked down at my jeans and sweatshirt. Then around the table. Everyone was wearing the exact same jean-and-sweatshirt combo I was. It was, after all, quite cold outside. And as I surveyed my cowboy boots, I wondered what in the world the person to my left was talking about.

My husband and I got into our car and I sighed. He asked what was wrong. 

"So-and-so said I've let myself go since we've gotten married."

Laughter. That's what soon filled our car. My husband laughing hysterically. 

"Why are you laughing?" I asked. "I'm bothered by this statement. I mean, I weigh less now than when we got married. My clothes are much nicer. I even do my hair before leaving the house every day. I don't understand it."

My husband scoffed. "Don't listen to him. You are more beautiful today than the day I married you." 

And because I know my husband cannot tell a lie to save his life, I knew that he meant what he said.

Here's the thing: sometimes people say cruel things. And though I was hurt by the comment, my husband's response soon made me realize that the world's view of me and my husband's are quite different. 

I never want my husband to stop telling me I'm beautiful. Because his opinion on my beauty--not the world's--means the most to me.

I too often believe that we allow the world to have the majority rule in our beauty. We allow the world to tell us that our jean size is too big or too small. We allow the world to tell us that our hair color isn't ideal. We allow the world to tell us that no one could love us unless we look perfect. 

But I've been married long enough now to know that my husband doesn't see my imperfections the way the world does. He doesn't notice the tooth that sits crooked in my mouth. He doesn't notice that I have one strange eyebrow that refuses to look like the other. And he doesn't notice that the top half of my body is a completely different size than the bottom half, which makes swimsuit shopping a nightmare.

Instead, he likes my smile and the way my eyes light up when I get excited. He likes that someday this body of mine will carry his children and then give birth to them. He doesn't see the imperfections. He just sees me. And I try every day to let his opinion on my beauty have the majority rule in my life. 

When your husband tells you you're beautiful, know that he truly means it. He did, after all, fall in love with you--your good and bad qualities. If anyone's opinion is going to matter, it should be his.

Your Wife-Friend in Christ,

Jessica