RIP Oliver James 2006-2014

I remember the first time I saw the little gray ball of fur in February of 2006. He was sitting on the bedroom floor of a young girl's room with his four other siblings. He waddled over to me and sat in my lap.

I was in love.

Since I was about three years old, I had asked my father for three things: a cat, a pony, and a trampoline.

So, I was overjoyed when my father let me bring the little fur-ball home during my teenage years.

For the first couple years of Oliver's life, he spent it shuffled between two homes: my father's and my mother's. He was a good car cat. He would sit on my lap and close his eyes while I'd drive the three minutes between houses. I couldn't bear a night away from him.

But, finally, the demands of high school and sharing my life between homes became too much to handle. I made the decision to leave Oliver at my mom's house so she would have a constant companion in our absence and he would not have to travel so much.

During my college years, I lived with Oliver and my mom. He would spend his nights sleeping (and drooling) in my arms. He also spent his days roaming the backyard. 

While he was never much of an outdoor cat, he did like to wander around and eat grass. Sometimes, I'd find him watching birds. He would haunch down low and remain completely still. He never did catch anything. Just liked to try. 

When Kelly and I decided to move to Oklahoma after getting married, Oliver accompanied us the 1,500 miles. He spent the entire car ride shuffling between my mother's lap and mine. He was perfectly content to remain in someone's arms while we traveled. I guess all those years of shuffling between houses prepared him for life on the road.

Oliver adjusted well to life in Oklahoma. He loved summertime. The grass he loved to eat would grow tall and green. He'd chase butterflies and fireflies. In the wintertime, he preferred to remain indoors. He really hated the snow because it covered up his grass. He made friends with the neighborhood cat and they liked to play together often.

Eventually, we expanded our family and welcomed Niko into the mix. However, we quickly discovered that Niko does not like cats. At. All. So, Oliver spent the majority of his days napping on the bed and his nights roaming the house. 

Kelly and I bought a house and I asked my mom if I could leave Oliver with her. I knew that he would be much happier not having to constantly be separated from the huskies. He could have free roam of the house and backyard at all times. I was sad to leave behind my sweet Oliver, but I stopped by and visited him a few times each week. He'd spend the whole time wrapped up in my arms, purring (and drooling). 

Oliver was a wonderful addition to a great decade in my life. He witnessed many sleepless nights, many happy times, and many seasons of my life. While he is no longer a living presence in my life, I'm grateful for hours of memories and pictures that will fill my heart for many years to come.

Oliver, my first fur-baby, you were a constant source of joy in my life and you will be dearly missed my sweet feline friend.

I Bend

Sometimes, all I feel I do is bend.

I bend here.

And there.

I bend for this person.

And then another person.

I bend for this job.

Then that job.

I bend. I fold. I find myself ducking and moving.

Sometimes, I want to stand firm. And tall.

I want someone to bend for me. To reach down low for me. To duck and move for me.

But I don't think it would make me happy to ask that of another person.

To ask them to get down low and move under the weight of my demands.

There's no happiness associated with that in my world.

All there is...is guilt.

The weight of selfishness.

The weight of constantly winning while every one else loses.

The weight of not caring about anything other than myself.

So, I bend.

I bend because I don't want to win.

I bend because I want other people to be happy.

I bend because I don't want to carry the weight of selfishness.

I bend.

What Biblical Leah Can Teach Us About Rejected Love

The story is quite tragic.

A man who, with the help of his mother, tricks his father into blessing him instead of his older brother, flees his home and then falls in love with a beautiful woman. He makes a deal with her father--who happens to be his uncle--to work seven years for her hand in marriage. 

If you don't know what story I'm talking about yet, I'm talking about the Bible's scandalous love triangle between Jacob and sisters, Rachel and Leah.

Seven years come and go, though they seem like only "a few days" to Jacob because "of his love for [Rachel]." (Gen 29:20)

This man is laboring. For SEVEN years. For the hand of a beautiful woman. He's determined. He's hardworking. And he's clearly in love.

BUT, in an unexpected turn of events, Jacob finds himself deceived by his uncle and married to his older cousin, Leah.

Furious, Jacob confronts his uncle and strikes another deal to work seven more years for Rachel. 

At this point in the story, I'm sure most people feel for Rachel and Jacob. For two people who obviously love each other. Who have waited SEVEN YEARS to marry only to be denied that by Uncle Laban and Leah. 

But my heart aches for Leah. For her "weak eyes". For the pain that will surely follow this deception. Call me twisted or strange, but I can't shake the feeling of heartache for Leah.

Was she a pawn in her father's scheme? Or did she help hatch this plan? Did she truly love Jacob and want him for her own? Or did her father fill her head with promises and fantasies?

Either way, Leah no doubt took on the blame, the hurt, and the rejection from this situation. She carried the burden of her father's deceit and the role she played in keeping her husband from her sister. 

As the story progresses, we discover more about Leah in the midst of her heartbreaking situation.

My favorite part in the story enters in at Genesis 29:31. "When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive."

The part I always stop and linger on is the part where it says "the LORD saw." 

The LORD saw Leah.

The LORD was watching Leah.

The LORD loved Leah.

So, Leah conceives her first son and names him Reuben because the LORD saw her misery and she believed that a son would ensure Jacob's love for her.

But she does not receive Jacob's love. 

So, Leah conceives her second son and names him Simeon because God knew that she was not loved and blessed her with another child.

Even so, Jacob does not love his first wife.

So, Leah conceives her third son and names him Levi, hoping this son will somehow attach Jacob to her.

But this third child does not sway his feelings for her.

When Leah conceives her fourth son, she names him Judah and praises the LORD, because though her husband cannot see her, God does.

This is the part that I always ache at. Leah living in the shadow of Jacob's love for Rachel. And regardless of how their marriage began, Leah never does work her way into his heart. Even as the years press on and more children enter the picture, Jacob clearly loves Rachel. Rachel eventually dies during childbirth. And it's here that I can't help but wonder if Jacob finally noticed Leah after the passing of his one true love. Perhaps he did. Perhaps he did not. The story of Leah ends there. 

The tragedy of this story not only lies in the great love Jacob never had for Leah, it lies in the sibling rivalry that pitted two sisters against each other. One could conceive and one was loved. Leah wanted Jacob's love and Rachel wanted children. Each wanted what the other had. This sibling rivalry--or hatred--pours over into their children's lives. Joseph, Rachel's son, is later sold into slavery by his brothers. Thus continuing the cycle. 

But throughout the story, God constantly remains an ever-present overseer. He saw Leah. He loved Leah. He blessed Leah. God remembered Rachel. God opened Rachel's womb. God blessed Rachel. And his goodness is a great reminder that he sees us. Even in the midst of our hurt. Even in the midst of our rejections. Even in the midst of our heartbreaks.

God sees us. God loves us. 

None of us walk through life without the experience of rejected love. Maybe from a parent, a friend, or a spouse. We want to be desperately loved by someone and they never do love us in the way we want them to. But that does not mean we walk through life without love. Every single one of us is deserving of love. 

God sees us. God loves us. 

And that's what Leah's story can teach us. Though she never won the favor of her husband's love, she was always loved by her Creator who saw her when no one else did. 

And you, too, are loved and seen by the Creator of all things..

To find Bible resources, visit MY STORE for more information on how much God truly loves YOU!

Update on the Hansen Huskies

It's their favorite time of the year: winter!

Niko, Zailey and Abner (who's actually a Malamute, but we tell him he's an honorary Husky) have been spending most of their days outside. It's in stark contrast to their summer schedule. In the hot months, they spend their time laying on top of the AC vents on the hardwood floor sleeping.

But now that temperatures are in the 50's, I can't keep them inside!

We had them on store bought food for most of the summer, but decided that in order to save money, we would start making their home-cooked diet again.

We were feeding them Rachael Ray's Nutrish dry dog food and our dogs LOVED it. However, we also decided that because the dogs would be outside more and running around, they needed more protein. So, they're back on their delicious home-cooked diet!

Niko - The Troublemaker

Niko has been misbehaving since the weather changed. He has figured out how to climb my kitchen cabinets to get into the sink. He really likes chewing on my wooden spoons and plastic bowls. I've been doing the dishes immediately after they are used to keep Niko from getting on the counter. We decided that he will go through the dog training class we love again. He's in need a refresher.

Zailey - The Princess

She's cute. She's fluffy. And she's a little poser. Zailey is the perfect dog--except if she doesn't get in her daily car ride. Then, she's a MONSTER. She also likes to pounce on me in the mornings to wake me up at 7 am sharp. If I do not open my eyes, she will howl until I get up. She likes afternoon naps in the sun and peanut butter. She would never admit it, but she really loves cuddling and kisses. 

Abner - The Strong Silent Type

He's quiet, strong and the sweetest guy to cuddle with before bedtime. Abner spends his days looking after the huskies, playing with the little black puppy through the fence next door, and begging me for bananas. This dog ADORES bananas. I try to keep a few bags on hand at all times because he likes to split one with me every morning. I have never seen a dog react so strongly to food before. I can't even peel a banana without him howling. Abner has been a wonderful addition to our family and I can't remember what life was like before him. He's terrified of thunderstorms and likes to sleep in my arms while lightning and thunder strike above. He is also a great protector. No one can step foot in the yard without him barking. And I've already trained him to stay on the back porch when the gate is open. We also discovered that he really loves to watch cows. When we make our dump runs, he goes with us. Because we have the Explorer, he has a bit of trouble getting into the car so we try to limit his rides so he doesn't hurt his hips. Malamutes are known to have hip dysplasia due to their heavy bodies. But when we do take him, I make sure to stop on the side of the road so he can watch the cows grazing. 

Boo - The Goofy Cousin

We adopted Boo as well, but she decided she really loves my mom. Like, desperately loves my mother. Boo still walks with the huskies every day, but she prefers the quiet solitude of my mom's house. She also has found a bff in Oliver, the gray cat. Boo spends most of her days napping, relaxing and walking with my mom. She likes to bark at the neighbor dogs. When I go over, Boo spends the entire time laying on my mom's lap. My mom watches Dogs with Jobs on Netflix and Boo likes to sit in the recliner with her and watch along. She looks precious in her sweaters. When it gets a little chilly outside, my mom always makes sure Boo is warm and stylish!

Here are a few more pictures of the Hansen Huskies to enjoy!

To purchase Rachel Ray's Nutrish for your dog to try, you can visit MY STORE now!

Easy Crockpot Enchilada Soup

Edit: To make a VEGETARIAN version of this soup, hold the chicken and add brown rice! Check out the directions below for more info!

Chicken enchiladas are probably my favorite food to eat. I could eat them every day if my husband let me!

But in this house, we like variety. I have a few meals I rotate through. Tacos, chicken, casseroles, soups, etc. So, when my mom told me I had to try out this low-fat recipe, I figured it would be a nice change in our usual routine.

And I was right!

What you'll need:

1 lb. chicken breasts or turkey (note: if you are making the vegetarian version, add in 1 1/2 cups cooked brown rice. I usually wait until everything is cooked through before adding in rice.)

1 32 oz low sodium chicken broth (note: if you are making the vegetarian version, you can substitute chicken broth with vegetarian Bouillon.) 

1 large can green enchilada sauce

2 small cans green chiles (I used one because I'm not big on spicy!)

1 can diced tomatoes (I used a big can because I love tomatoes!)

1 cup frozen corn (optional - I greatly dislike corn so I left this one out)

1/2 diced white onion

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

1 tbsp chili powder

2 tbsp cumin

3/4 cup water

1 block regular or low-fat cream cheese - use an hour before you serve (note: if you're not huge on dairy, you can try out vegan cream cheese instead!)

Directions: 

1. If you want to cook your chicken ahead of time, chop it into small pieces and fry in frying pan. I chose to just let the chicken cook in the sauce because I was short on time. I chopped mine up and threw it into the crockpot. (If you are a vegetarian, shield your EYES)

2. Pour chicken broth (or vegetarian Bouillon mixture), water, and enchilada sauce into CrockPot.

3. Put in green chiles, tomatoes, corn (like I said, it's optional) and onion. 

4. Add in garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, and cumin.

5. Cook on high for 6 hours. 

6. 5 hours in, soften cream cheese and then add to soup. I used a whisk to mix it in. 

(Note: cream cheese may leave a few clumps. I just used my whisk to remove most of them.)

7. Let cook on high for another hour. 

8. Garnish with cheese, sour cream, or whatever you like and then serve.

Makes about 8 servings.

To purchase the CrockPot I used for this recipe, click here.

3,800 Miles Part 2

If you haven't read Part 1, you can read it here.

OK, I had traveled 3,400 miles and visited 4 states on our way from California to Oklahoma. We got home late Tuesday night and planned on heading out to Branson on Sunday. That meant I had four days to get caught up on work, clean my house, grocery shop and get my Sunday School lessons finished for the month. I also had some more Christmas decorations to put up.

All-in-all, I was very busy Wednesday-Saturday.

We decided to go to church on Sunday morning before heading up to Branson. I couldn't miss my preschoolers for the second week in a row! I adore them and love sitting on the carpet, reading them Bible studies. My sweet husband postponed our trip just so I could spend some time with my preschoolers.

I mean, WHO could resist this precious face?!

So, I packed us a lunch and we headed out for a 2 hour and 45 minute drive to Branson, Missouri. We were headed for Silver Dollar City!

My mom went on vacation with my in-laws. That might sound strange to you, but it's pretty normal around here. We all just love each other :) I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my mommy!

We arrived after a very long week for me. I was beyond exhausted, but my husband loves going to amusement parks so he was in his zone! 

Wildfire at Silver Dollar City

I am not a roller coaster person. I like easy rides. The kind that don't flip or go upside down. My husband is a thrill seeker; I prefer to have my feet on the ground. So, I rode a few easy rides and then spent the majority of the time watching my husband ride the crazy rides. Oh, and checking out the crazy light display! 

Seriously, if you ever find yourself in Branson in December GO SEE THE LIGHTS. You will not regret it. 

This is just a little taste of SDC's lights.

My sister-in-law and I. Isn't she gorgeous?!

Me and my mommy! And my brother-in-law!

I didn't take a whole lot of pictures because we were busy spending time together. It was nice to get away from all of life's distractions and relax. Well, I attempted to relax. I was too worried about my husband on those roller coasters to relax too much. But we had a great time eating pretzels, nachos, funnel cakes and fried foods. We walked around the crowds of people and went in a few shops.

The drive home was a long 3 1/2 hours. When we got home, I crawled into bed and decided 3,800 miles in a week is just too many miles to be away from home. 

Our next road trip is planned for July. Until then, I think I'll stay as close to home as I can!

3,800 Miles Part 1

One week.

3,800 miles.

6 states.

That's been my life for the last 168 hours.

And I think it has cured me of wanting to go on any more road trips until July.

I've always been a road trip person. I can't help myself. I just love sitting in the passenger seat, looking out the window. It really does make me happy.

I get the "dreamer" gene from my mother. We're day dreamers, and we love to sit quietly and reflect on the passing miles.

My brother and I were tasked with the important job of transferring my sister-in-law's furniture from the Bay area to our small town in Northeast Oklahoma.

So...we got on a plane for 7 hours. Yes. The same plane. For 7 HOURS.

We had two stops. One in Dallas and one in Albuquerque.

We never exited the plane.

Never moved from our seats.

And I got motion sickness 3 hours into our journey.

By the end of the plane ride, I could have kissed the ground at the Oakland airport. I had never been more happy to walk out of an airport and hail a cab.

OK. I didn't hail it. I stood in a line and got into a Ford Escape driven by a man with a thick accent.

Sadly, we still had 10 hours of travel ahead of us. So, we got into our cab and headed to a small, shady mechanic shop to pick up a Penske truck.

Riding in the Penske truck to the storage unit in Oakland.

We arrived. We got into the truck. Then we headed to my sister-in-law's storage unit.

The truck all loaded up!

We packed up and then headed to Taco Bell for dinner. I almost had a heart attack when I realized they didn't have Dr. Pepper. I've clearly become an Oklahoman. I expect every fast food restaurant to have Dr. Pepper whether Coke products are carried or not. It's an Oklahoma thing. We love our Dr. Pepper.

Finally, we were on the road and headed 8 hours south to San Diego, to see our Dad.

On the road.

I had only been to Northern California once before when I was younger. I was amazed at how green everything was. They had just had rain and the grass was so green it was almost blinding.

I was pleasantly surprised to see miles and miles of mountain farm land. I chuckled every time I saw a cow on a hillside eating grass. 

Beautiful, green mountains!

Wind turbine farm in the distance.

California sunset :)

Eventually, we made it through LA without any traffic and arrived at my dad's house at 11:30 pm. We visited with him for a few minutes, then went to bed. Somehow, a husky found his way to my bed before I turned out the light. When I woke the next morning, he was still curled up beside me!

Such a sweet face!

 When I walked downstairs in the morning, I found my brother on the couch with a dog, too!

Zach and Milo

That day, we planned on having breakfast with my dad and then playing disc golf at my old college. 

Look at this view! Sometimes, I miss just walking through campus admiring the mountains.

Oklahoma is my home, but this place is my home, too. Where every good quality was forged and perfected. Where I was tested, broken, and then found again. This is the place that I come from, will always reflect on and will always return to.

Zach and his childhood best friends.

It was really nice to see my dad. I hadn't seen him in 2 1/2 years. I am very thankful for technology. I'm thankful we are able to video chat and see each other. But it's always better in person :)

My brother, my dad and me :)

After a short visit, we left that day and headed to Arizona to see our grandparents. Another 8 hours in the Penske truck filled with Christmas music and desert plains. Yes please!

We watched the sun set from the California-Arizona border on day 2.

We got to Grandma and Grandpa's at 11:30 pm, ate some of Grandma's peanut butter cookies (MY FAVORITE COOKIES) and then headed to bed.

When we woke up the next morning, Grandma already had her Keurig and Starbucks coffee ready! Honestly, there is NO BETTER place than my grandmother's. Just like her mother's (my great-grandmother's) house, my grandmother's is filled with unconditional love, delicious meals, lots of laughter and comfort. It is also the place where my grandfather has spent hours training, sharing and offering heart-felt advice on life, fiances and love. When God gave me grandparents, he gave me the best!

Arizona sunset.

My brother and grandfather went golfing while my grandmother, great aunt and great uncle took me to Tubac for a little shopping and lunch. We had a nice time just relaxing and talking. That's what I love most about my grandmother's family: they love to talk. I know it's where I get my love of deep conversations, funny stories, and grand hand gestures. The Italian blood runs deep in my veins. 

My dog aunt. She's too cute!

After a nice dinner, we headed to bed and set our alarm clocks for 3 am to head home to Oklahoma. An 18-hour drive.

 We left Arizona at 4 am and started out in the dark. I slept for an hour while my brother drove.

We spent the majority of our day in New Mexico. We drove around a mountain range, sang along to lots of country songs (the only stations between Arizona and Texas) and played the ABC word game. We spent 4 hours searching for a Z word to end our match. While driving through Amarillo, my brother screamed out "Zachary!", which was written on a side of the building. We laughed so hard.

New Mexico

I finally found some Dr. Pepper in Albuquerque. I had never been more happy to see that Dr. Pepper logo!

Texas is always an interesting place to travel through. We see a lot of cows. I mean, A LOT. At least in northern Texas. And the smell is oh, so wonderful! NOT! But despite the smell, driving through Texas is always my favorite part because it means I am almost home!

There a smell that Oklahoma has. It smells like hay and wet grass. We were 10 miles from the border and I rolled down my window. Even though it was 58 degrees! I love the smell of home. And I was so close to home!

The flat Texas plains.

Texas sunset.

Texas-Oklahoma border.

We drove through OKC and spotted this beauty over the bridge!

We pulled in at 11:45 pm and I was happy to finally be home!

After a few days rest, we headed out to Missouri for a family vacation. Check out part 2 tomorrow for the rest of my crazy week!