What I Know About God

I remember the first Sunday School lesson I taught quite well. In the living room of a broken home on Quiet Hills Drive, I taught an imaginary classroom full of students about Jesus.

I guess I should have realized then that my calling in life was to teach. It's funny how we know things when we're younger, but as we age we begin to doubt our abilities and talents. We begin to doubt the amount of money we can make. We begin to doubt the job opportunities. We begin to doubt God.

You know, it's no accident that I'm a Christian. It's not an accident that I stumbled upon my creator and believed in the one who breathed me to life. I know God and it grieves my heart that some don't. Because God truly, deeply loves us with the kind of love that you will never experience on Earth unless you know him.

Looking back, I know it must have been hard for God to look down from the Heavens and see a young girl with so much potential willing to throw it away because she wanted to be loved. It must have been hard to for him to watch me stray for a while because my life was only getting worse and I wondered why he didn't rescue me. It must have been hard for God to stand by as I wasted talents, blessings and opportunities because I was angry.

Do you know what I know about God? Do you know how much he loves you in spite of your shortcomings and dark moments? How much he longs to bless you if only you would sit as his feet and rest a while?

If you were to ask me what I long to share with the world, it would be this: God is patient, kind and merciful. And he loves you more than you will ever know. There is nothing in God's character that is evil or bad. Scripture says that "every good and perfect gift comes from above." (James 1:17)

God allowed things into my life over the years, both good and bad, to shape me into the person I am today. He allowed me to go through the divorce of my parents because I lacked humility and compassion. He allowed me to move five times in six years because I was too comfortable living in the world with worldly people. He allowed me to live in a two-room studio and share a room with my brother and mother because he longed for me to "be content in any and every situation." (Philippians 4:12)

Every bad experience was of God's allowance, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a better person today for every one of them. And when I meet somebody who is going through what I did, I love to encourage them and remind them that God's not done with us yet.

He will be patient with you as you come to know him. He will never demand your love, but rather try to earn it with his goodness and grace.

My greatest fear is that I will mess up and God will turn his back on me. I fear that even though he loves more than I could ever fathom, I will disappoint him or hurt him and he will no longer guide my footsteps. Because, my dear friend, if you were to look at the beautiful life he has given me now in spite of all the sins and all the moments where I turned from him, you, too, would believe that you are not here by accident. You have a purpose and you have a God who longs to give you more than you have now. Yes, he will take you through dark times and radically mess up the life you have, but it is in preparation of the work he has planned for you.

God gave me the gifts to teach and love people of every walk of life. I teach people between the ages of 2-90 every day. Every day. I teach a myriad of subjects, everything from the life of Jesus to Facebook Marketing to Excel, but the greatest thing I teach is about the love of God for his people. And I do that by loving everyone who crosses my path not by my own abilities, but by God's.

You may have messed up over the years, but God doesn't see all of your sins and mistakes. He just sees you. He sees the potential you have. He sees the gifts and talents he has freely bestowed on you. He sees love.

If you don't know Jesus, then today is a good day to sit at his feet. To read about his life. To ask him to reveal himself to you.

What I know about God is that he wants you to know him today. He wants to use you and bless you in ways that you couldn't begin to imagine. Believe me when I say you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

The Good Wife Chronicles: When He Hurts Your Feelings

My feelings are not hurt very easily these days. Three years ago, it was an entirely different story. It would break my heart if someone hurt my feelings. Someone would do something that I would deem "terrible" and I would dwell on it in sadness, which would eventually turn into anger. It was a twisted game I would play in my head.

Then, something wonderful happened. I learned that other people's treatment of me is a product of who they are. Not who I am. Because how we treat one another is a direct reflection of our character. We own our actions; no one else does.

We all have the capacity to do some horrible things. We can wound with our words, our actions, and our choices. We wound behind closed doors and in the open. In front of others. Even in a church filled with Godly people who look down on it. Yes, even me on occasion. 

When someone treats me poorly, I don't view it as license to return the favor. In fact, I make it my mission in life to love and care for the people who intentionally try to wound me. Because if I do not, I will fall back into the trap of bitterness. And when I'm bitter and angry, I'm not loving selflessly. I'm not loving the way God wants me to. I'm not offering mercy and grace.

I've learned how to brush off the actions of others, but the truth is that when my husband hurts my feelings, it literally breaks my heart in two. It's probably because he doesn't do it that often. When he does, it feels like the end of the world. And I have a hard time giving him the love and care I extend to others in the same situation because I live with him. I'm in his constant presence. I don't get to step away from him and take a moment to recollect. 

Last week, my husband made a joke about how often I work outside our home in front of our guests. I immediately became defensive because I know how most people feel about it. They are very vocal in their beliefs about how I should be spending my days. And the last person I expected to bring it up or talk about it was my husband.

Here's the thing: my husband and I made a decision together that I would work part-time, help him run his business and take care of our home. So, it bothered me greatly. 

I crawled into bed that night going over the list. I clean, I cook, I grocery shop, I volunteer, I teach classes, I teach businesses how to use software, I just took over a Sunday School class at church, I blog, I write his website text, I do his books, I do taxes, I do bank runs, I do lunch runs, I do yard work, I paint, I keep both of our schedules in order, I take care of our finances and pay the bills without complaining.

Do you know what happened after I created that list? I gave his silly words power over me. I made a mountain out of a molehill. 

If anyone else in the world would have made a comment about how often I work outside my home, I would have cared less. Because I owe nobody an explanation for how my days are put to use. It was a different story when I felt the person I'm building a home with attacking me in front of others. I wasn't quite sure how to handle it. So, after reciting my list, I did the only thing I knew to do: I prayed.

"God, help me extend the same grace and kindness to my husband that I would to any other person."

And then something wonderful happened again. I realized that the reason I was hurt was because I didn't feel valued by my husband in front of others. His joke was harmless in his eyes but, to me, it was an attack on the work I partake in every day. And can I be honest in saying that the only thing my heart truly desires from my husband is to hear that I am his greatest helper and ally in this life?

Tears filled my eyes and my heart ached. Thankfully, God reminded me that my value comes directly from Him. Though I long to be dearly valued by my husband, I don't do all the things on my list for him. I don't get up early and go to bed late to accomplish every task because I enjoy doing it. I probably wouldn't do it just for my husband alone. That's why my work is done for the Lord.

That's when things were put into perspective.

My husband apologized profusely and explained what he had truly meant by his joke. It had just been a miscommunication. But he was already forgiven. Because I let my insecurities--what I believed my worth was in his eyes--get in the way of my purpose here.

The truth is, Satan will use any means necessary to destroy you. To steal your confidence. To convince you that you are worthless. And he may do it through your husband, in the form of him hurting your feelings.

In the lifetime you will spend together, your husband will hurt your feelings from time-to-time. It is those moments where you must remind yourself whom you serve and why you serve Him. There is no way that I can give my husband the very best of myself if I'm not walking in faith. And you won't be able to, either.

Its O.K. to be hurt. Its O.K. to be wounded. It's O.K. to acknowledge that you are human and flawed. But sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself is mercy. Let him off the hook. Extend the grace God gives to you on a daily basis. Pray about it. Forgive him. When you do, you will find peace like a river. And that, my wife friend, will do your heart a world of good.

Your wife-friend in Christ,
Jessica

Encouragement For the Day: Do Not Be Afraid

There have been many times that I have trusted God to a very uncertain future. And when things looked bleakest, He performed miracles to save me.

Those miracles--stories that have become a part of my faith and belief that we are not here by accident--give me strength and courage in times of fear and doubt.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. It may be showers of blessings or a harsh drought. But I know that whatever season I find myself in, I can rest assured that God is always working everything together for my good.

"The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid." (Psalm 118:6)

Dear Miserable People

Miserable would have been a good term to describe me in my teenage years. My family life was a complete and total mess. My school life wasn't much better. And my walk with Christ was almost non-existent. I held onto resentment as though it were my life source. They were dark times; dark and miserable times.

I remember waking up one morning and realizing that being miserable would eventually kill me. I could no longer hold onto all the hurt from the people in my life who had wounded me. And there was a very long list.

But I knew that I couldn't live like that anymore. I couldn't exist anymore if I didn't find a way to move past all the pain. I was being drained beneath it's crushing weight.

I always give my husband credit for saving my life. He is, and has always been, whole to me. His parents gave him a wonderful childhood that he loves to tell me stories about. And though there were rough times, he always had a great support system and a crowd of people in his corner to cheer him on. I never imagined that we would ever work out because I was just so broken. My heart was in a million pieces when he volunteered to pick them up and put them back together. God sent him to heal me. And to make me whole. If you knew me 6 years ago, you probably would have thought I was a hopeless case.

But I was tired of being miserable. Tired of just being tired.

Choosing joy is hard. It's not for the faint of heart. There are a million distractions in a day that have the potential to steal your joy. A rude person. A messy house. An unexpected detour. One phone call. A doctor's diagnosis.

If you are miserable today, let me reassure you that life is worth the living. It's worth giving everything you have to a day and pouring yourself into your passions. If you don't have a passion, cultivate one. This life is too short, so let the little things go and pick your battles wisely. I've found the best way to remain joyful is to be understanding in all circumstances. Give people grace when they mess up. Offer mercy when you feel they deserve a whole lot more. Rise above.

"No one has the power to make you feel inferior without your consent."

--Jessica

Chalkboard Mondays: Be Kind

Every Monday, I write a saying on the chalkboard in my kitchen. It's there as a reminder throughout the week to focus my attention on. And I wanted to share it with you. So, I'm beginning a new blog series entitled, "Chalkboard Mondays." I'll share a picture of my chalkboard every Monday and a few thoughts on what I'll be focusing on throughout the week.

Last week, we were reminded as we entered the kitchen to always 'be joyful in hope, patient in affliction.' As we spent last week working on the house, we were reminded that it wasn't too long ago that we were wondering if our home would ever be ours. As things took a turn for the worst when our house fell into foreclosure one day before we were supposed to sign for it, we remained joyfully hopeful and patient. God worked out everything for our good, just like He always does.

This week, we are focusing on being kind. Not just to each other, but to everyone. It's become painfully clear to me over the last couple of days that as flawed human beings, we have a tendency to focus solely on ourselves. Myself included! We each have our own problems and battles. I believe if we offered each other kindness and compassion--regardless of our own struggles--we would be better encouragers and friends in difficult times. I think it's also a great reminder that my battles do not give me a license to be rude or inconsiderate to others. Usually, they are on their own uphill battle. Instead, I'm just praying that regardless of my circumstances, I can remain encouraging and kind to all who surround me.

--Jessica

Confessions of a Part-Time Housewife

Once upon a time, I was a full-time housewife. My days were spent in the steady rhythm of cleaning and cooking. And I absolutely LOVED it. But when life happens, and you're given opportunities to reach people outside the home (or simply make an honest living), you learn how to adapt to those changes. And if you're lucky like me, the work you partake in is both fulfilling and challenging.

To be perfectly honest, I love the work that I do outside of my home. I love teaching. I love preparing lessons. I love going to meetings and making presentations. I love the moments where I get to invest in people's lives. I even love filing and making bank runs to deposit money.

Here's the thing: wearing many hats--Teacher, CFO, Business Owner, Wife, Chef, Maid, Errand Girl, and Assistant--is overwhelming. And at times, my many titles and jobs bring out the worst in me. But they also have the power to bring out the best parts of me. The truth is: I wouldn't choose to be anything other than a Part-Time Housewife.

But it's not always easy to split my time between my home and my work.

The following are the Confessions of a Part-Time Housewife:

1. I'm A Pro At Saying 'No'
I say it often. Not because I'm being rude, but because I know my limitations. I learned the hard way that I can't be everything to everyone. Instead, I choose wisely when saying 'yes.' If I can't put in the hours needed, then I won't waste anyone's time.

2. It's Not In the Cards For Me Right Now 
I've been offered a few full-time jobs. And I have seriously considered each of them. But it's not in the cards for me right now. I would never see my husband if I worked full-time. I wouldn't be able to devote time to helping others. I wouldn't be able to teach our church's home-schooled group Creative Writing every Thursday. I'd just be the woman who works all the time. Don't get me wrong; there is absolutely nothing wrong with that title. It's just not a title I'm comfortable wearing at this point in my life. My husband has always let that be my choice. And I'm so grateful to him for letting me choose.

3. Cleaning Repulses Me
I'm not even lying. I can't stand cleaning. It's one of those things that I loathe with all my being. But I know that it must get done. So, I do it unto the Lord with all of my heart. I scrub those toilets as though my life depends on it. Because this beautiful home that He has given to me deserves to be well kept.

4. I Have Dance Parties In My Kitchen
By myself. When no one is around. I gleefully unleash those 8 years of dance lessons while loading the dishwasher.

5. I Am Exhausted
All the time. But that exhaustion keeps me moving forward. Because I couldn't imagine a day where I don't crawl into bed thanking God for the soft mattress beneath me. It means that I've worked hard. It means that I've given everything I have to the day. Yes, I am exhausted. And thank the Lord that He revives me when I am.

Update On The Hansen Huskies

 

Well, it's been a long time since I wrote a blog on my children dogs. It's probably because I never know where to start. Every day with two huskies is a feat within itself. They keep me on my toes. But I'm grateful for the furry paws that keep the pitter patter of life alive in our home.

My days are quiet. I spend most of my time cleaning, reading, writing, studying, planning, teaching, cooking, running errands, working, and texting my sweet hubby. The huskies spend their days sleeping, eating, digging, running, barking, eating, running, sleeping, chewing on bones, eating, and waiting for Daddy to get home.

Oh, and then there's the constant attempts to run away on Niko's part. Let's just say he got a taste of freedom and he's addicted. And by a 'taste' I mean he literally ran away, chased some goats, had a run-in with a donkey, and then ran back home. To our new house. After only living there a week. O.K. he may have chased Kelly's car home.

Other than that, the huskies have adjusted well to our new house. They are still sweet and stubborn. Especially Zailey who is trying to dig up our storm shelter. She's crazy. But we love the red/white husky that always has dirt on her nose. She also likes to run in circles around the back yard. And if I join her, she wags her tail and her tongue hangs out of her mouth.

Niko spends most of his days waiting for Kelly to get home. And when he does, he lays at Kelly's feet and watches him intently. They have a lot of 'garage' time together. Kelly works; Niko explores. While they're doing 'men' stuff, I read and Zailey sleeps. We have a very simple life and our huskies are at the center of it all. But I can't image one moment without the little loves of our life.

The huskies are happy and healthy. And we wake up each morning to their wet, slobbery kisses. We couldn't ask for anything more than the love of the two huskies we share a home with.